A lot of blogging in one week. But then again, a lot happens in one week, Meg- San Francisco time. Meaning that you can actually control a classroom of children, feel confident, and then lose it the next. Or your classmates in grad school think that you are a pushover, literally- and make you try and shoot someone or give someone the finger during a dramatic representation of oppression in our society. Intense, yes, but that's why it's followed by a beer or two with our professor after class at a local bar.
In the process, I'm learning more about myself than I realize- I'm actually becoming self-aware. In the moments I feel most incompetent during the day, I have to come back and realize that yes, I might be inexperienced, but it doesn't mean that I will be a terrible, no-good, very bad teacher for the rest of my life. It means that I have the enthusiasm and big eyes for teaching first grade on a daily basis, but that it might be an adjustment process at first in getting to know every ounce of curriculum necessary to teach kids how to read.
I realize that I do love it here, San Francisco, California, despite its revelation of recent imperfections. Sometimes it takes a professor asking me if I thought I would ever move home to realize how much I do. Not because I don't miss my family, I do, but because I've become accustomed to this way of life- openmindedness, bike-riding, social justice, fresh avocado and produce life, full of opportunity ripe for the picking, that I can't imagine the day-to-day of life anywhere else.
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