Concrete jungle where dreams are made of

Is what I've been playing since being at Katie's lake house last weekend and realizing the audacity of what I've gotten myself into. I've basically moved most of my things into storage, including my classrooms, lugged two bags of luggage across the country, begun thinking about my new job, and said goodbye to many who won't be in San Francisco when I get back. It's been a long month, a long two weeks, figuring all of this out.
In North Carolina now, I'm starting to realize how much I am giving up. I missed my roommate Rachael's bday yesterday, I'm not going to see my favorite French-American families everyday next year, I won't be able to speak French on a daily basis. I'm going to have to confront my fears and create things this summer even if I think I can't right now. I'm going to have to step into a new public school and start over my career as educator at ground zero. I'm going to try and manage a long-distance relationship, even when I don't even feel capable of having a relationship with someone who lives across the street from me.
There are good things in the midst of all of the transition: driving solo across beautiful parts of the US (Yosemite to the mountains of Cashiers), reconnecting with the south and realizing how friendly everyone is, feeling taken care of by families that don't even know me, and knowing that I'm doing this, even though at times it seemed impossible.
I'm excited, scared, anxious, calm, ready, all at the same time.

L'annee de changements

"Meg, this year has been one of changes for you," so my French colleague Laurence told me today. It has been five years after college, exactly on this day, and I think that makes sense. A lot has happened in the last five years since I've graduated- I've lived in France and San Francisco, I've made great friends, I've been to Africa twice, I've gotten my teaching credential, worked at a French school, and learned about myself. Now, I'm on to giving my attention to what's next- a new city for the summer, more school, relationships, a new school to start at in the fall.

It's going to be an emotional last week of school, of that I'm sure- I choked up just walking my normal route from the bus stop to school today. It's the first school I've ever worked at, the one in which I've gotten to interact with some of the coolest parents and families I know, and speak French everyday. Where teachers toast to my new future, people know me, I know them, I take their kids to the beach, they drive me home. In some ways, I'm scared to leave a place where I'm known and loved.

It's the year of changes, and sometimes it's better when they happen all at once, right?