Things may not end the way that you want them to, depression affects even the most saintly of us, you will escape the lie that you are alone if but for a moment, the rainy season will succumb to a sunny November, the semester's assignments will be close to being finished, a ladder-like leaning bookshelf in a room will help you reorganize a crowded space, grilled cheese tastes much better with chutney on it, report cards will be finished, friends will be ordained and engaged, babies will soon be born, the time will come when you will take over a third grade classroom by yourself. This is what you've been waiting for, all this time, but your lessons aren't wrapped up with shiny bow at the end, tying everything together, because you don't know how to do that yet.
Your friend Carin, five years your elder, tells you that she's been there, come out of the darkness, not necessarily into a bright light, but into a more illuminated present. She tells you that you are on the right path, that you have more love to give than you know, that you have to find the right people to give it to (which you are in the process of doing).
There will still be moments filled with anxiety and tension- how am I going to this?, who thought I was ready for this?, does anyone care about me?, and no matter how many days I ride my bike up Fulton's steep hill, I still won't be able to make it up a steep grade in the midst of GG park. But I can walk next to my bike, it's okay. The training wheels maybe aren't ready to come off yet.
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