7 days later

Here I am, officially a New Yorker, or inhabitant of New York during the summer time. I've had moments of thinking, "What am I doing?!?" while trying to navigate registrars, financial aid, and subway stations crowded with people. One thing I've learned is how I have to stick up for myself, but also depend on God. I went through some periods of pretty intense loneliness last week, thinking, "Meg, why would you ever give up what you had in San Francisco for this?" But I've had moments where it's all felt worth it, where crossing Central Park at the end of the day, eating out with an old friend from college and high school, getting a drink with a new roommate at our local bar, exploring a new museum (for free!) and finally figuring out my way amidst the maze of Teacher's College seemed to overshadow all of the hard things about moving to a new place. Day by day, as has been the trend the past few summers, I've had to depend on God more than ever- getting to places, praying that I'm taking the train in the right direction, hoping that someone will help me with all of my luggage, and that I'll feel connected to someone at some point during the long, hot, hazy days.
Classes don't start until tomorrow, and maybe then, I will realize more of my purpose in being here. Or maybe not. Maybe I had it figured out that it would be an idealistic end to an enduringly difficult school year, where all of my problems would melt away and I could rediscover myself in a new city. But, as Maggie says, I'm still me, still Meg, the problems don't leave you wherever you go, and no where is like you actually imagined it will be.
All that to say, I miss you San Francisco, but I'm thankful for Blue Bottle care packages, youth prayer requests from Emily, family a train ride away, and notes from former students and dinner dates with future colleagues that make me think, "I can do this," as though I'm being cheered on from the sidelines from 2,500 miles away.