I have the Lady Gaga song in my head. Or I have ever since my brother picked me up from the airport in Pennsylvania and we blasted it in the car on the way home.
I always have this resistance to going home at first, once I'm there and more adjusted, I'm more comfortable, and then it's hard to leave and come back to life here.
I kept thinking on the plane ride yesterday that I live far away from home. Not that it's good or bad, but that I never realized how far it was before. It's usually my parents coming to see me versus me coming to see them and so sometimes I forget how long the plane ride/travel process can be.
And every time I come back to the city, I get a little anxious. Maybe because I worry about what I've missed or what I've committed myself to for the next few days, weeks, months. I get an email about books and I'm already thinking about next semester. I see my room and my unfinished painting and other art projects and feel like I need to finish. I take kids on their scooters on the sidewalk and people make comments at us or try and run us over as we are walking by. I drive my friend Claudia's car and worry about whether or not I'm parked legally or read the sign for street cleaning correctly.
I'm only here for a few days before I head to Tahoe, but here's to coming back to SF in 2010 and not necessarily finding something to get anxious about. I might just have to dance out my worries to Lady Gaga in the meantime.
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