City lights

I'm sitting on a Sunday night, looking at the city of San Francisco. Anticipating a David Gray concert. Smelling a new vanilla bourbon Voluspa candle. The fatigue of the last few weeks caught up to me this week, manifesting itself in my contacts glued to my eyes, groggy mornings, and afternoon naps. I laid in the park yesterday, today I laid on the couch.
I'm realizing that living here, things become more stressful sometimes than they would somewhere else. That I need some space every once and a while to be by myself, write papers, read a book, connect with God. I don't have to be doing something every minute or think about what other people are doing while I'm resting, what I'm missing out on.
Babysitting last night, I thought about how it would be hard to be home all of the time when you have kids. My lifestyle is so opposed to being home and still, it never happens. Spontaneity actually refreshes me, planning seems to zap the energy from me. I feel more expectation when there is build-up.