Art therapy

It's been a while since I was able to process through how I'm feeling via art. I have been knitting all trip, almost done my hand-warmers!, and today was the first day that I was able to pick up a brush and gentrify the school at our original site of the TrueVine compound.
It's hard to say all of the different emotions that came up while I was painting with an audience of sometimes 20, sometimes 100 kids. I was confident that this was the reason that God had me here today. And to care for the little child laying on the floor, just rubbing his back and holding him while he ate, earlier today at the refugee/orphan site. And to meet the child that I will sponsor indefinitely while she was chewing saran wrap in her mouth, that she found on the ground, because she had no other toys to play with.
It's a hard thing to wrap your head around, this different way of life and circumstance. Finally, on day 9, I'm starting to acclimate to the circumstances. I will always be dirty, grimey, and full of germs, but that won't stop me from forming relationships with kids.
My hands are still full of paint and the Africans think I'm crazy for not trying to wash it off. I guess that I like to think that it makes me unique, this being dirty, and getting into the Africa-ness of being here. I'm thankful that I had teammembers that supported me today in my ambition to make the school atmosphere an environment better-suited towards learning than the stark classrooms I had seen a few days earlier. If I can bring a little color to the TrueVine primary school, then I know that God has me here for a reason.
As a human, it's so hard to trust that God has what's best for us. The last few days I've done nothing but struggle with myself and my issues, thinking, "God, why am I here? I'm frustrated by what I've accomplished." It helped to have friends tell me that it might not be tangible, what I accomplish here. Rather, it's about building relationships with people in this community and somehow demonstrating to them that we care about them, even in the United States. That shows God's love for them, that we've traveled such a distance to even the most remote villages, even if just to experience a preschool graduation ceremony or witness a well dedication.
We won't always be able to understand why we're doing what we're doing at the moment, but the least we can do is be present with the people that we are with. God's shown me today that being present doesn't always mean that it will be what I've expected it to be or what I think it should be. He's shown me that he will always challenge and exceed my expectations, just like the Ugandans who think that God blessed them today because I came with my teammembers to paint on the walls of their school.