post on my blog everyday.
But, alas, I'm entrenched with a to-do list and a busy social calendar and my overwhelming exhaustion. I want to remember things from each day that made me feel at peace with where I'm at, that I am loved by something/someone in this crazy universe, and that I'm content with my circumstances.
Here are some of the highlights of my week (many have to do with first graders, as I spent a week away from them and realized how integral they are for me to experience life fully on a daily basis):
*Lots of missing teeth during our ten-day spring break, which made me think about how quickly and how slowly time passes
*A first-grader excited about the prospect of getting a K-E-G after school (meaning an E-K-G, the medical procedure, but just getting the letters all mixed up)
*One of my favorite disciplinary cases, with a behavioral contract, leaving the contract at a cafe. I asked him where I could find it, if the cafe was nearby. He couldn't remember but said that it was called Cafe Enchante (meaning enchanted cafe) and that it was at 21st and Geary. A few miles from school and I didn't make the journey, since I wasn't sure if I would actually find it there
*Playing rock-band with a six-year-old (babysitting one of the kids in my class) who knows all of the words to Eye of the Tiger. I can't even figure out the bass to play along. He tells me that this was the highlight of his week, that he is going to write in his journal next week about me coming over to his house. I feel loved, even though it's a Friday night, and none of my friends are wondering where I am.
*Connecting with other moms on a field trip about how they wish they were still in their twenties and I wish that I had more stability in my life, that I knew what I was going to do the day after tomorrow.
*Feeling anxious, lonely, lost, and windblown in Alamo Square. Fortuitously meeting the kindergarten teacher from one of the schools I've applied to for next year, after his dog comes sniffing out our snacks.
*Finding out that there's a yoga class specifically tailored to people with anxiety and depression and coming out of a yoga class feeling restored and renewed, like I could fall asleep that night.
*Not letting doctor's appointments throw me over the edge, feeling like a number in an HMO system. Knowing that people can care about me in these huge, blocky buildings even if they seem intimidating from the outside and I can't find my way around once I'm on the maze of an inside.
*Realizing that my summer plans may have opened up and that I can look forward to a trip, pursue painting, take a sabbatical from teaching before my classes start in the fall.
*Seeing seven different John Smiths, chronicaling a life from birth to death, on the TV version of "This American Life," after it was highlighted in the live broadcast on Thursday. Seeing that I struggle with different things as my parents and the kids in my class, but that doesn't mean that I can't seek to understand where they are coming from.
*Volunteering in a low-income elementary school and seeing another facet of the educational system in an urban community. Running into Paul Trudeau and Matt Nault to help them finish the mural, which was what I needed to unwind at the end of that day.
*Sitting by myself at a concert on Tuesday night when my friend and his roommate went off to get a drink. Realizing that someone else's reaction to me doesn't mean anything about me.
*Being spontaneous but knowing my boundaries and limits at the same time.
*Coming back on the airplane to San Francisco and realizing that this is my home. There will be days when the power is off at Trader Joe's and my roommate and I have to trek across the city in search of an open grocery store. Or when the weather will change 30 degrees overnight and no air conditioning is to be found. Public transportation will not run in a timely manner and acquiring a fully-functioning bike will not be an easy feat. Drivers will be crazy, directions will be impossible. Noise is everywhere, sirens and an air filter will lull you to sleep. Jobs won't be guaranteed and people will always be more qualified than you. But there will be quirky tea rooms, French-speaking populations, art galleries, progressive thriving Christian communities, oases of calm, unlimited opportunities, and walks along the coast after work. Knowing that on April 25, 2009, these are circumstances that are worth dealing with in order to be here, now.
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