Single in the City

Sex and the City 2 was a pleasant surprise. I think hearing it was over the top and didn’t get great of reviews set my expectations low. However, it was my favorite film so far of the series- outrageous but addressing real life complications. How relationships are hard, your children aren’t what you expected them to be, and how you can grow up in the same city that you moved to after college. All life lessons that I seem to be learning right now. That I need to let go of clinging to relationships, expectations, and fear- relinquish the control. Trusting that I will somehow complete this 8 week summer psychology class, make ends meet this summer, and sherpa 1,000 books to Africa.

I don’t want to just think, this is hard, it will be over soon, because then I’m not open to the process and the person that I’m becoming through it. Through loss of friendships, I’m opening myself up to new people, new interests, new ideas. Like how I could spend Saturday effortless with a new friend, singing and memorizing the lyrics to the Broken Bells on the way back to the city while stuck in Bay Bridge traffic. Through my friends’ heartache and despair, I’m beginning to see that my lack of relationships has been God’s protection of my heart, not reflecting my own shortcomings or worth as a person. I’m constantly learning, I’ll never be happy with how I am just at this moment, I’m always on the cusp of being engaged in an exciting new skill (like turning boot-leg jeans into skinny ones) or reading more, gathering more information, or constantly cleaning out my closet, as though sometime I will get my style just right.

I’m M.E.G., Margaret, Miss Garner, I’m single in the city, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not figuring out who I am or in the process of knowing who I’ll become.